


i know i'm coming back for you

by moonatoms



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, not really a fix-it but somehow fixing it a little?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-12 15:20:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10493775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonatoms/pseuds/moonatoms
Summary: The woman who was sidling up to him had brown hair, green eyes and a flirty smile. For a second, he could almost pretend that this was what he wanted. What he needed. Someone who didn’t have blonde hair and blue eyes and wasn’t put on this plane by his father to punish him. But then she leaned up and kissed him and he couldn’t pretend any longer.





	1. Chapter 1

_They say it's matter of time,_

_a thousand days and the sun won't shine,_

_before I come back to you._

  


The woman who was sidling up to him had brown hair, green eyes and a flirty smile. For a second, he could almost pretend that this was what he wanted. What he needed. Someone who didn’t have blonde hair and blue eyes and wasn’t put on this plane by his father to punish him. But then she leaned up and kissed him and he couldn’t pretend any longer.

Her lips were too harsh and demanding. Her hands too smooth and nothing like those calloused fingertips he’d felt on his cheeks a mere week before. Her giggle was a cacophony that echoed in his ears. Closing his eyes, he tore his lips from the brunettes before she could deepen the kiss. Turned on his heel and vanished back into the crowd without a word.

Swiftly walking over to the bar, he watched as the bartender wordlessly filled up a glass of scotch, took a big swig as he settled on one of the chairs. This place was everything that he should have loved. Everything he would have loved when he first came to earth five years ago. Bodies, dancing and moving. People, free of their inhibitions, ready to indulge in a night of secret fantasies and hidden desires. But the music was too loud and the people bored him.

It wasn’t enough anymore. Not after days spent solving cases and nights spent talking over take-out boxes. Not after early morning smiles and bickering over coffee. Not after he had felt like, for the first time in his existence, someone actually cared about him.

Sex and drugs and alcohol could no longer fill the void that was hidden deep inside him. They did nothing but take the edge off the pain.  It wasn’t enough.

He’d come to earth looking for something. And he’d thought that maybe he had found it. But it hadn’t been real. That knowledge hurt more than anything. He’d thought it was real but it was all just one of his father’s games. And he was so tired of playing a part in them.

Taking another big sip of scotch, he turned his focus back to the small stage, where a girl had started dancing. She looked like she was barely 21. A smile was plastered on her face but he could see the emptiness inside her eyes. Could see it in all the people moving around him, knew it was reflected in his own. People didn’t come here because they were happy, they came here because they wanted to escape their lives. Because they wanted to forget.

He didn’t know if he would ever be able to.

He was pulled from his thoughts by one of the staff from the hotel next door appearing in his vision.

“There is a phone call for you, sir.” He said politely.

 _Maze_ , Lucifer thought to himself. It didn’t really surprise him that she had managed to track him down, he had half expected her to show up any day. Determined to tell the man to give her the message that she could go to hell, _literally_ , if it pleased her, he opened his mouth just to be stopped cold by the staff member.

“She says it’s urgent, sir,” the man went on. “Something about a Chloe being in danger?”

It could have been a ploy. It could have just been a way to get him on the phone and back to LA. But there was something in Lucifer’s gut that told him that this wasn’t. And despite everything, despite all the ways in which he felt betrayed, he knew that if there was just the tiniest chance of something happening to Chloe, he would go immediately.

Without another word, he got up. Put his scotch glass on the table and followed the man out of the club and into the hotel lobby.

“What is it, Maze?” he growled into the phone as soon as he was handed the receiver. “I am kind of in the middle of something here.”

“Oh spare me your pity party, Lucifer,” the demon’s voice was hard as steel. “Chloe has been abducted. She was checking out a lead for a case, Dan got worried when she didn’t check in today. They found her phone in the middle of the road but there was no trace of her.”

His blood ran cold. The world around him stopped turning as everything Maze had said was swirling together, a mess of words that only two remained clear of: _Chloe_ and _abducted_.

“Where was her back-up?” he ground out, said it even though he knew the answer. Needed to hear it, needed to –

On the other end of the phone, Maze laughed angrily. “Well her partner decided to ditch her and ran off to Vegas, so she went alone.”

His vision was swimming. His heart was hammering. He couldn’t breathe. Even though he had known why she had been without back-up as soon as Maze had told him that she had been abducted, it was a different thing entirely having it confirmed.

She had gone alone. Not with Dan, or a random other police officer, but alone when he should have been there and then maybe, maybe this wouldn’t have happened and she wouldn’t be gone and –

 _You are responsible for your own actions_ , a little voice in his ear said. It’s what he had told all those souls who had ended up in the halls of hell, blaming each other, blaming him for the sins they had committed. _You are responsible for your actions_. And he was responsible for this. He had left. Had abandoned her.

He had been so angry. Betrayed. He still was. But he wasn’t angry at her. She had never been supposed to pay the price for this. All he had wanted was the choice to leave. To show his father that he didn’t control him. _She’ll get over this_ , he had thought to himself, even as it had hurt his own soul. _I’ll free her of the responsibility my father has put on her_ . _She’ll find someone else and she’ll be happy._

But now –

This was his father’s doing. Of that he was sure. Just another way of punishing him. He had chosen to rebel, again, and now his father was threatening to take away the one thing he cared about, trying to force him to comply with his wishes. Knowing he would go.

And he _would_. Because despite everything that had happened and everything he did not understand, nothing on this earth was more important to him than Chloe. And he would do anything in his power to protect her, no matter what.

He would accept whatever punishment his father chose to dole out.

He’d return to hell if he had to.

 

* * *

The trip back was a blur. It took too long, but in retrospect he would not be able to recall it. His thoughts were a jumbled mess, he didn’t know what else to do or think other than _please, let it not be too late_ and _I’ll do whatever you want_ . There was silence when he entered the precinct. He had expected angry words but somehow this was worse. Even Dan didn’t say anything, just gave him a look that was a mixture of disappointment and anger, but even he didn’t argue when Lucifer told them to tell him everything they knew. He was sure the detective would yell at him later, _after_ , when time wasn’t sand running through an hourglass.

Together with Ella and Maze’s help, it didn’t take them long to identify who Chloe had suspected and Lucifer’s stomach churned as they started piecing together the case. _Underground prostitution ring._ They managed to track down one of the suspects. Dan didn’t even flinch when Lucifer grabbed the man and pushed him into the nearest room.

It didn’t take long after that to persuade the scumbag why giving him a satisfactory answer would be a good idea. What the man said made his blood boil, his face forever ingrained in Lucifer’s brain as he left him cowering on the floor. He had wanted nothing more than to string the man up by his feet and torture him there and then, but there was no time. Not right now. Not when nothing mattered but Chloe.

Chloe, who, if she wasn’t dead yet was probably lying somewhere, bound and alone because of him. Because he hadn’t been there. Because he had failed her.

Jumping into Dan’s car, he didn’t wait for the detective to follow him. His fingers curled around the steering wheel as he accelerated and drove off, typed the address into the GPS and hoped, hoped he was not too late.

 

* * *

The house was old and abandoned, but the wooden shack behind it wasn’t. There was only one guy standing guard, a lanky boy that was too young to be wearing such a big knife and such a malicious smile. He was no match for Lucifer, who just tossed him aside, his focus already elsewhere, on her.

She was slumped on a chair to the side of the room. Her blonde hair was dirty with gravel and blood and her blouse had been ripped. Her entire face was swollen and coloured dark. He could smell her blood and he had to close his eyes for a second to steady himself as he forced his feet to move. Her pulse was faint under his fingertips as he loosened the restraints around her hands, but it was _there_. Lowering her gently to the floor, he bent over her, touched his fingers to her swollen cheeks. Wished that he possessed the power to heal, to mend what was broken, in more ways than once.

Her eyelids fluttered open at the feeling. Her breathing was heavy and her voice was rough, but his name on her lips had never sounded so beautiful.

“Lucifer,” she said brokenly. “You’re here.”

Her hand came up to wrap around his wrist and he held on, never let his eyes leave hers even as sounds in the back told him of the arrival of the police.

“I am,” he replied, his voice shaky as he heard her draw in a ragged breath. She was fighting to stay conscious, he could see it in the way her lashes fluttered against her cheeks and her eyes were glassing over. Paramedics kneeled down by her sides, pushed him away but he held onto her hand as long as he could.

“Please don’t leave,” she whispered right before the paramedics could put an oxygen mask over her face.

“I won’t,” he said and meant it. “I will never leave again.”

Her eyelids fluttered close.

 

* * *

The monitors to his side were beeping steadily. Night had fallen, warm and starlit. The nurses had tried to make him leave but he had refused, didn’t want to be away, couldn’t be away, not when he had promised. He didn’t want her to wake up and find him gone again.

She looked peaceful lying in the hospital bed, the way her hair was splayed out on the pillow a stark reminder of the night a mere week ago. He hadn’t been able to bear the thought of staying then. He couldn’t leave now. Her hand was resting on the duvet, he grasped it in his own, let his thumb trail over her soft skin.

He didn’t know what would happen when she woke up. Would she forgive him? Would she tell him to leave? What would he do if she did?

 _None of this was real_ , he had said when he had seen the picture in the bar, and it hadn’t felt real. But the way she had been looking at him in that shack, like he was her salvation, the way she had said his name, it had brought back memories of the brief time when he had thought that they could be happy and it had felt nothing but real.

 _She doesn’t know anything_ , Amenadiel had told him. She didn’t know that she had been put in his path. Didn’t know that she too had been manipulated. How would it make her feel, knowing she was put here to cross paths with him? And how could anything between them ever feel like it was not just because they were destined to be? How could it ever feel like their choice?

 _Because you choose each other_ , a voice in his head whispered. _She didn’t even like you at first, but she chose to trust you over time. You chose to come back. How is that not real? How is that not free will?_

Was it? And did it matter?

Looking at her as she was lying in the sterile hospital bed, he knew it didn’t. _It’s real if you’re stronger together than you are apart_ , the college girl’s voice echoed in his head.

Her slim fingers fit perfectly in between his larger ones, just like she fit into the cracks of his life. She completed him, made him stronger in a way that had nothing to do with the physical. She lit the dark corners inside him, made him feel accepted, _home_ , like he belonged somewhere for once. And maybe that really was all that mattered. The way they gravitated towards each other, completed each other. Maybe that was what made it _real_ , despite his father’s plan, despite everything they were up against.

Maybe they _were_ real.

 

* * *

He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there when she finally opened her eyes. It could have been hours, or days. But at last she did, deep blue meeting almost black, before her gaze travelled down to where their hands were still clasped. Slowly, she pulled hers from his, let it fall onto the bed next to her body.

A beat passed, then another one.

“You’re really here,” she said finally, her voice quiet and uncertain. “I thought I had imagined it.”

“I am,” he confirmed, didn’t know what else to say.

“Are you going to leave again?”

He looked down at her question, then back up at her. Hoped she could see the sincerity in his eyes.

“No,” he replied.

She nodded, once, twice, teeth worrying her lip. Her face was a mask, stoic under the deeply-coloured bruises, but he could see the uncertainty that was etched into its lines and knew she didn’t believe him. It was almost unbearable to see her like this, so withdrawn from him, a contrast to the way she had smiled at him the last time he’d sat at her hospital bed, so wide and open. But she had all the reason to doubt him. He’d left. And while he hadn’t explicitly promised her they would talk, he knew she’d taken his small smile as a yes, had done nothing to disagree. Why would she trust him now?

“Why did you leave?”

There were a thousand answers on his lips and there were none. How could he explain it without having to show her who he really was? He couldn’t.

He would have to show her. And he was dreading it. His fingers curled into fists, still remembering the phantom weight of her hand in his and already mourning its loss. But deep down inside he knew that there were too many secrets between them. And if he wanted this, whatever that meant, he would have to put his cards on the table. No more secrets, no more deep oceans separating them, threatening to pull them under. But he couldn’t tell her, not here, not like this.

He took a deep breath.

“I will tell you everything, Chloe, I promise,” he said. “Once you get out of here. This is not the right place for this conversation.”

She looked down at her hands and then back up at him, bit her lip again.

“How do I know you are not just going to vanish again like you did last time?” She asked.

He grasped his hand in hers at that, let his fingers trap hers.

“I know you don’t believe me right now, but I promise you I won’t leave. Not again. Not ever.”

Ever so slowly, she nodded her head. Didn’t move to pull her hand from his as she replied.

“Alright,” she said.

It was not a promise that they would be okay. That she’d forgive him. That they would not crash and burn at some point in the future. But she’d give him the opportunity to explain. And maybe together they could find a way out of the mess that was this situation. Maybe they could be  _more_.

As they sat next to each other in silence, their fingers still tangled together, he could only hope so.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally managed to write their conversation. Which turned out like every other conversation between them that I write. Sigh.

_Our love is a river long,_  
_the best right in a million wrongs,_  
_I know I'm coming back to you._

 

She was freezing.

 

It was April and the air was warm, but there was a cold inside her bones that would not dissipate even in the heat of the sun.

 

Her body ached, a reminder of the hours she had spent tied to a chair and was thrown around like a ragdoll while her captor explained in great detail just what they were going to do to her.

 

But the physical pain paled in comparison to the way her mind was hurting. As if she was caught in a current, the thoughts were swirling around her head at high speed and she felt dizzy from all the different emotions that were coursing through her veins.

 

He’d come back for her. He had saved her. But he had also left, had left _her_. After everything they had been through, after everything they were and she had thought they could become, he had simply vanished without a word.

 

She’d been confused and sad and mostly angry. At him, but also at herself, for letting her guard down again even if she had promised herself she wouldn’t, not after Dan, not after all the times she had felt like she had not been enough.

 

She thought he was different. He was obnoxious, he was five years old sometimes and he had probably never even considered monogamy, but he was also incredibly loyal. And she had thought he cared. It had been in the way that he had saved her and her daughter. In the way he had held her in his arms after they had caught her father’s killer. It had been in his words at the beach, the almost shy way in which he had asked her if this was real.

 

And she had nodded, had nodded because she had thought it was. That they were something beyond partners and friends. For the first time in recent years, she had felt like she was ready. Ready to break down the walls around her heart that had grown every time she had been hurt and rejected. Ready to let him see all the broken pieces of her. Ready to fully trust him.

 

And then he’d left, like everyone else in her life had. And it had hurt. She had tried to hide it even though she couldn’t, even though she knew her emotions were etched into every line of her face.

 

Thankfully, nobody had said anything. She’d seen the pity in their eyes, Dan’s, Ella’s, Linda’s even Maze’s, but they had remained silent, had merely let her be. And she’d been so grateful for that. But her hurt and anger remained and they clouded her vision, made her reckless. And when she’d been captured, she had been sure that this was it. Because she had been working the case by herself, had insisted on it even, and despite her promise to Dan that she’d check in with him, she hadn’t shared the details of the case and she didn’t think anyone would be able to find her in time.

 

But he had.

 

Suddenly he had just been there, all fire and rage as he threw her captor against the wall and then his eyes had met hers and she had been able to see beyond the dark walls of his black orbs, had seen the fear, the worry, had heard them in the way he breathed out her name as he untied her and gently lowered her to the floor. Had clung to it, the way he was touching her, looking at her, so gently, so full of things that neither of them had ever dared to speak, even as her eyelids were drooping, even as she was falling, even as darkness swallowed her whole.

 

He had come back for her.

 

And he had stayed.

 

From the moment she woke up he was there, the warm weight of his hand in hers the first thing that had broken through the darkness surrounding her. And when she had opened her eyes she was looking directly into his dark ones that were clouded with a myriad of emotions, remorse, guilt, worry, relief and things way beyond that. And on his lips had been the promise that he would not leave again and that he would explain everything once she was released from the hospital.

 

Silence had fallen over them after that, but still he had stayed, had remained glued to her side, crammed into a hospital chair that was too small, leaving only to get her discharge papers from the registration desk. Then he had driven her home and only reluctantly left her in her mother’s care, his face stoic and his shoulders slumped as he left her with the promise that he’d come back the next morning with breakfast.

 

She hadn’t made it that long.

 

His promise to tell her everything had weighed heavy on her mind and when a nightmare had woken her at 5 in the morning, she had gotten up and gotten dressed, wincing as her body protested at the movement.

 

And now she was here, in front of LUX in the April dusk, staring up at the building. It was too early and she knew that she should give him a few more hours of sleep, but she couldn’t, couldn’t wait, wanted answers, needed them now.

 

Taking a deep breath, she made her way into the deserted club, stepping into the elevator and pressing the “up” button before she could talk herself out of it. 

 

* * *

The penthouse was eerily silent when she got off the elevator, but to her surprise Lucifer was sitting at the piano instead of asleep in his bed. The lid was closed, his elbows resting on it as he held his head in his hands, a full glass of whiskey sitting next to him untouched. He didn’t look up at the “ding” of the elevator, only raised his head to meet her gaze as she slowly made her way through the room and came to a stop a few feet away.

 

“Detective,” he said gently, eyes never leaving hers and she bit her lip softly, couldn’t stop the apology from bubbling up in her throat.

 

“I’m sorry,” she started, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “I know it’s early but I just…I couldn’t wait any longer –“

 

“It’s okay,” he interrupted her. “I was actually wondering how long it would take you to come here. I did promise you answers after all.”

 

They fell silent for a minute after that, neither of them knowing just how to continue.

 

“Well,” he said finally, standing up slowly and lifting the scotch glass to his mouth to take a big sip before motioning towards the couch. She followed him, took in the way his brow furrowed slightly and his lips molded themselves into a thin line as he sat down on the far end of the sofa, putting the glass on the table beside him.

 

“What do you want to know?” he asked once she’d sat down on the other end, legs crossed at her ankles and hands fidgeting in her lap.

 

Her eyes met his. “Everything.”

 

He nodded at that, the movement so subtle that she almost missed it. “Right.”

 

“Why don’t you start by telling me why you left?” she inquired when he didn’t continue speaking, didn’t miss the way his eyes darkened and filled with something that almost looked like fear. His entire posture was rigid, it was carefully hidden behind the way in which he was leaning against the pillows, but she could see the harsh angles within him, the way his fingers were curled around the cushions, the too straight lines of his face.

 

He was silent for a minute, still regarding her with a mixture of so many emotions of which she could only identify half and did not dare try with the other before he finally spoke.

 

“If you want me to tell you, you have to promise me you’ll listen to the full story before leaving.”

 

“Why would I –“

 

“Promise me,” he insisted, voice silent and serious as his eyes trapped hers and she could only nod.

 

“Yes,” she whispered. His body sagged into itself a bit at her words. It was barely noticeable but she’d worked beside him long enough to have memorized his little tells. His walls were usually built too high around him, little glimpses through the crack in his bricks all she was allowed most days. There had only been a few times when those walls had crumbled, but when he sat up straight again and took a deep breath, she could see that they were lying in shambles around him.

 

He was laying himself bare in front of her. Digging the nail of her thumb into the skin of her hand, she braced herself, for what she wasn’t sure.

 

“Well, I guess I should start by saying that I really am the devil,” he started and she fought the urge to roll her eyes or jump up and start yelling at him because was he seriously, after everything that had happened going to start with that – _oh, shit_.

 

In front of her eyes, Lucifer’s face had started contorting into a mask of charred flesh and bloody skin, his eyeballs blazing red from where they were sunken into the hairless skull and oh God, oh, he had been saying the truth, had not been lying any of the times he’d told her and, and –

 

Was it a complete shock to her though? She had had her suspicions. So many things had never added up, had never made sense. The way he managed to stay in character all the time. His supernatural strength. The way he seemed to be, at least sometimes, immune to bullets. His ability to draw out people’s desires. How Jimmy Barnes and Lindsay Jolson and others had reacted to him and –

 

 _“That makes one of us.”_ Oh God, he had _died_ for her. He had to have, how else would he have gotten the formula? He’d gone back to hell to save her.

 

That knowledge alone would have been enough to silence the part of her that piped up with all the stories about the devil being evil. It would have been enough to prove to her that he _wasn’t_ , wasn’t evil. He’d put his own feelings aside and had gone back to his place of punishment just so that she would _live_. And it wasn’t just that. It was everything, all the little things he had done for her that had decidedly _not_ come from a place of evil.

 

No, he was still Lucifer. Just another lonely soul in the universe who was misguided, had many, many issues and didn’t always deal with situations in the best way and could be less mature than her eight-year-old at home, but who was, deep down, a good…well devil.

 

Blinking, she realized that Lucifer’s face had morphed back into its familiar form while she’d been lost in thoughts. He was looking at her with a mixture of pain and resignation and she could see in his brown eyes that he was just waiting for her rejection.

 

She opened her mouth, wanted to assure him that this didn’t change anything. That yes, she was shocked, of course she was. Her entire world view had just been put in a salad spinner. But that it didn’t change anything. That it didn’t change how she saw him.

 

“That still doesn’t explain why you left,” she said instead, wincing as the words left her mouth.

 

He blinked, the look on his face still hesitant.

 

“I don’t think you are evil,” she added before he could speak up. “I…you’re still Lucifer. I am going to need some time to…adjust to this. And I will have plenty of questions later, I’m sure…but I also need to know. Was it something I did? Or said? Or did you…”

 

She took a deep breath. “I mean, you did go to hell for me, right? You had to have and…were you angry at me for – “

 

“Absolutely not,” he interrupted her before she could continue rambling and she had to swallow at the vehemence in her voice.

 

“I’d go back to hell a thousand times for you.”

 

“Then why?” she asked and he sighed, curling into himself a tiny bit as he shifted his gaze towards the window.

 

“Because my father put you here,” he said after a beat. “He had Amenadiel bless your mother so you’d been born. He put you in my path. It was all a lie…none of it was real.”

 

Her eyes widened at that, but she couldn’t find it in herself to argue about the circumstances of her conception. She had just found out her partner, whom she had kissed a week ago, was the actual devil. So what he was saying didn’t seem too far out of the realm of possibilities.

 

But the implication that none of this had been real hurt. It _had_ been for her. And even if she was suddenly forced to believe in God, it didn’t mean that he had an all-consuming power over her feelings and choices. Her path had not been straight and her partner had been nothing more than a nuisance to her at first, it didn’t make sense to complicate things like that if all God apparently wanted was for them to meet and fall in love.

 

No, she had done so all by herself. Not out of choice, because you don’t get a choice in those matters, but because of all the ways in which he had proven himself, because of all of those tiny little choices and decisions they had both made along the way.

 

“It was real for me,” she whispered, felt the emotion in her throat as she spoke them.

 

“Detective –“

 

“No,” she silenced him. “You don’t get to say that it wasn’t real when it was for me. Dammit, Lucifer, these are my feelings. Maybe God put me here – I am still trying to wrap my head around that, but yeah, maybe he did, but…”

 

Tears pricked at her eyes and she blinked them away angrily. “This is my life. My decisions. My feelings. I sure as hell didn’t choose to fall in love with you, but it wasn’t some higher-up’s decision either. It just…happened. And yes, right now I maybe wish it hadn’t but it did and I just…”

 

His lips on hers were enough to silence her rant. It was a short kiss, hard and bruising and all too soon, he was pulling away. His breath was heavy against her lips. His eyes had darkened to an almost black colour. His hands stayed on her face, wiping away her tears.

 

“You can’t just kiss me and expect me to – “ she started but his fingers on her lips stopped her mid-sentence.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said. And then, when she still didn’t reply, he said it again before pulling back slowly and putting some distance between them.

 

“I just felt so betrayed,” he whispered after a minute. “After millennia of being shunned in hell, I felt like I had finally found what I wanted, what I was looking for and then…”

 

She scooted closer, her hand falling onto his where it was lying in his lap, fingers linking with his larger ones.

 

“I should have talked to you,” he continued. “But I was just so angry. And even though I knew you didn’t know I just…”

 

Taking a ragged breath, he finally let his eyes meet hers again, and she was surprised to see that they were glistening. “I just needed to feel like I had a choice. And I…I wanted to give the choice back to you, too.”

 

He fell silent again and she squeezed his hand, felt her heart breaking at the sight of him. And understood.

 

Of course she wished he had talked to her. But she knew it wasn’t that he was purposefully lashing out against her, he was just doing what he thought was the right thing seeing as they had both been manipulated. She knew beyond his tough exterior lay a deeply vulnerable soul. He used sex and charm to mask it, but in this moment, she saw right through it. It had probably fit into the view that he had been communicated all his life: that he wasn’t worthy of love. He didn’t deserve it. So of course it had been so easy for him to believe that the first time he thought he had something _real_ , it was all just a sham.

 

Looking up at the ceiling briefly, she felt her anger grow. Because the devil in front of her deserved so much. Love and kinship and feelings of worthiness. And God or not, if she ever, ever got to have a conversation with his father, she would let him know just how much of a terrible parent he was. Nobody and especially not Lucifer deserved to feel like this.

 

And she didn’t know what to do. How to make him see that yes, even if it would take a while for them to cement their relationship and return to the way it had been before, she very much liked him, more than liked him even. And that this was one hundred percent real.

 

So she did the only thing she could think of: she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer and poured everything she was feeling into the kiss. It was warm and soft and when they finally broke apart she couldn’t help but smile.

 

Framing his face gently between her hands, she leaned her forehead against his, just as she had done in front of the college a mere week ago.

 

She knew they had a lot to talk about and that there were more problems likely headed their way, but for now, all she needed was to assure him. To assure herself.

 

Because together, together they’d be able to deal with everything, divine or not.

 

“It doesn’t matter how I got here,” she whispered against his lips. “Because being with you is _my_ choice.”

 

And then, before he could respond, she kissed him again. And felt the wet warmth of his tears on her cheek as he pressed her closer still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway, this is it. Sorry I am super behind on reading everyone else's fic. Trying to juggle a doctoral thesis, work, my student initiative obligations and my medical school finals which are approaching fast (not ready). I would promise I will get better but it's honestly just going to get worse in the next months so everyone please send positive thoughts my way!
> 
> P.S. Lyrics are from Tom Rosenthal's "Go Solo" again. I am obsessed with this song recently, go listen.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Tom Rosenthal's "Go Solo"
> 
> May, may, may have tentative plans to write their talk also.


End file.
